The Zen of Home Water by Jerry Hamza

Author:Jerry Hamza
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781510756250
Publisher: Skyhorse
Published: 2020-09-16T16:00:00+00:00

A few weeks later Rick came over. We talked and laughed about the tournament. Rick told me that the president took a week off over the incident. We laughed about that for a bit.

“I guess you won’t be fishing in next year’s tournament,” Rick said.

“The thing is,” I replied, “I had to quit just before the magic hour. I have to get there to fish it if only once.”

“I am pretty sure the president was serious about the ‘over his dead body’ thing.”

“As tempting as that may be to wait, I do plan on being there for your tournament next year.”

Rick’s look was inquisitive. I told him to hang on as I left the room. I went to the closet in my bedroom. I was so pleased and smug. I began to round up all the elements of my plan. I pulled up a pair of shorts. I strapped on a large pre-filled bra. (I’m a big guy so I really had no problem pulling off the Double D’s.) I pulled on a light pink polo; it was mostly polyester but with just enough elastane. I pulled up a tan golf skirt. My sneakers were pink and tan and tied together the ensemble so nicely. To top it all off, I donned a big blonde wig and some face-covering sunglasses. As I strutted into the den, I nearly killed Rick. It took a while for him to stop choking, and then to stop laughing.

“Oh my God,” Rick giggled with tears running down his face. “Where did you get that get up?!”

“I picked up most of it for a Halloween party a few years back. The old bastard will never recognize me in this.”

“He’ll want to date you. It is unbelievable, you could pass for an LPGA pro anywhere.”

“I’ll offer to show him my putter. That ought to take care of him for good.”

I am looking forward to golfing this year’s tournament incognito. It is all in the spirit of fun. Part of me understands the president. Another part of me has some sympathy for him as well. I don’t have the intense dislike for golfers that I used to. In fact, some of my best friends golf. The game is still intensely bloated and arrogant but it does accommodate some fine fishing. Many country clubs have a house pro. I think it would go a long way to a better image if some would entertain the idea of a course fly guy. I would surely volunteer.

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